Season 1

Alf and Else Garnett are back in London. Else is severely arthritic and can barely walk and Alf extols the joys of the wheelchair has got her — until he has to push her around in it. With so many cars parked on the pavement, he uses the middle of the road, incurring a motorist's wrath. It gets him access to sports matches — at least until he spoils it for himself.

Having complained about his failing eye sight – and just about everything else – Alf takes Else out in her wheelchair and buys her a cornet whilst avoiding giving money to the vicar. However, his poor sight proves his undoing when he accidentally goes into a ladies' toilet and is arrested as a sex pest.

Having scrubbed the hall and disapproved of Else's using the milkman to place bets, Alf feels that they're entitled to home help, but manages to antagonise three women in succession. Returning from the pub, he finds that the latest is Winston, an extremely flamboyant gay Black man who will clearly take no nonsense.

Alf tests the patience of good-natured Fred Johnson and his wife from next door by using their phone to make a very long-winded long distance call to Rita. After expounding upon funerals in the pub, Alf repays Fred by buying him so many drinks he falls over. Meanwhile, Alf's homeward progress pushing Else in her wheelchair ends in drunken calamity.

Rita comes to visit and no sooner is she through the door than Alf argues with her about Else. After Alf criticises Margaret Thatcher, claiming that no woman should be PM, Else and Rita gang up against him with Winston, who brings an equally camp friend home to throw a party for Rita.

Tired of pushing Else around in her chair, Alf looks into an electric scooter but they cost £2,500 and Social Security informs Alf that, as long as he's able to push, Else is ineligible. Taking an idea from some go-karting kids, Alf adds jet propulsion to the chair, which goes out of control, foiling a bank robbery and landing him in hospital. He's declared a hero but, following Winston's view that the robbers' accomplices may be out to get him, decides to remain anonymous.