Season 7
Episodes
1. Sorry, Wrong Lips
1982-10-06
Debbie Reynolds plays an actress whose torrid memoirs convince Mel he's the one she remembers as the greatest kisser in her life.
2. Do You Take . . . ?
1982-10-13
Mel tries to outdo an old buddy who shows up boasting a track record of fast living and sporting a blonde on his arm as proof.
3. The Secret of Mel's Diner
1982-10-20
There's gold in them there walls, or so Mel reckons after learning that the eccentric who built his diner left $20,000 stashed in another building.
4. Alice at the Palace
1982-10-27
Joel Grey offers his services gratis as the leading man in a musical revue bankrolled by Mel and featuring Alice. Mel, however, has never heard of Grey and gives the role to his bookie.
5. Joel Grey Saves the Day
1982-11-03
Joel Grey walks out after producer Mel turns a revue about New York into a desert musical with tunes like ""Two Tootsies from Tucson"" and ""Ramona from Arizona.""
6. Alice's Turkey of a Thanksgiving
1982-11-10
Alice's meddlesome mother knocks the stuffing out of her daughter's Thanksgiving dinner.
7. Carrie on the Rebound
1983-01-09
Carrie is slow to come out of a depression after a quickie divorce.
8. Jolene's Brother Jonas
1983-01-16
Jolene's brother pays a surprise visit, but the surprise is on him, he gets an icy reception from his sister.
9. Alice Sees the Light
1983-02-28
Everyone takes with a grain of salt Alice's claim that she saw a UFO.
10. Vera the Virtuoso
1983-03-07
Vera, whose cello playing can reduce a virtuoso to tears, is asked to play in a local string quartet.
11. Alice Faces the Music
1983-03-14
The waitresses pit their musical knowledge against that of three plumbers on a TV quiz show.
12. Tommy, the Jailbird
1983-03-21
Alice fears that freshman Tommy is abusing his new freedom away from home by majoring in extracurricular activities.
13. Jolene and the Night Watchman
1983-03-28
Jolene can't bring herself to bruise the tender feelings of a bruiser who saved her life and now considers her his girl.
14. Mel's Dream Car
1983-04-11
Mel is stripping his gears over his jazzy new Porsche he purchased for a measly $20.
15. Come Back Little Sharples
1983-04-17
Mel has had it up to his keister with the way things are going so he absconds to his apartment for a beer and pizza binge.
16. Vera, the Torch
1983-04-24
Vera wishes her landlady the worst for evicting her pets then feels responsible when the old crank's apartment catches on fire.
17. The Grass is Always Greener
1983-05-01
In role reversals, Mel becomes an employee by accepting an executive position with a catering firm, and the waitresses become owners by buying his diner.
18. Tommy Fouls Out
1983-05-15
Afraid that he's lost the ""right stuff,"" Tommy quits the basketball team.
19. Vera on the Lam
1983-05-22
After Mel decides to have the waitresses bonded, Vera owns up to a criminal past and takes it on the lam.
20. Mel's Cousin Wendy?
1983-05-29
To steal a competitor's secret sauce recipe, Mel persuades his cousin to pose as a woman and apply for a job as a Burger Baby.
21. Sweet Erasable Mel
1983-06-05
Mel's experiment with a computer goes well until Vera enters a transaction and erases every trace of Mel's financial existance.
22. Tommy Hyatt, Business Consultant
1983-06-12
Using Tommy's marketing advice, Mel increases his business but also learns he's heading for bankruptcy.
23. Jolene Lets the Cat Out of the Bag
1983-09-18
Jolene's hair is standing on end with a cat burglar prowling her neighborhood.